The Company are following a map, obtained previously, to the lost dwarven stronghold of Khundrakar.

Leaving their horses in the nearest town, and buoyed by the promises of a 25 gold piece bounty on orc heads, they have plunged into the Sword Mountains and found their objective: the peak known as Stonetooth.

The session opened with the Company walking along a narrow switchback path up the mountain side that had signs it was the original dwarven main approach to Khundrakar. Blithely ignoring the DM’s hints about smoke emanating from the top of the mountain, they continue until three orc sentries come in to view.

The group ducks back out of sight around a switchback for a conflab. The idea of taking them out via missiles is discarded due to the risk of one or all having time to raise the alarm. Instead the Company decides that Alwin will wildshape into bear form, non-chalantly amble up the path like a regular bear, then retreat when spotted, drawing the orcs into ambush as they pursue in the hope bear steaks for tea. Even if they don’t take the bait, it wouldn’t look like an assault.

As Alwin duly lumbers up it becomes apparent the orcs are paying no notice at all. Initially concerned about getting in javelin range, Alwin eventually strolls up into paw’s reach of the sentries and decides to improvise, by biting their heads off……

The first went down straight away, the second fell screaming over the cliff edge, storm trooper style, and the third began to run back into what Alwin could now see as the main fortress entrance, screaming an alarm.

The rest of the party are over 200 feet away in ambush positions. Lamb, initially disconcerted that the plan has gone to shit, is amazed that everyone else seems more worried by the fact that one orc had fallen off the cliff and they wouldn’t be able to collect his head.

The party then begins sprinting to close the gap to Alwin. Homte is careful not to get in front and stays safely behind Thanatos and Balkris. And Balkris’ panther. As he is running the thought strikes him that he could ride the panther.

Alwin pursues the last orc up a broad flight of weathered marbled steps that lead into a broad, featureless rectangular room with double wooden doors on the far side.

As he despatches the last yodelling orc, these doors slam shut and arrows began shooting at him from concealed murder holes 15ft above the floor on both side walls.

The party catches up, Veth slightly behind as he pauses to decapitate fallen orcs, to Lamb’s frank amazement. Homte takes cover at the foot of the steps. The group observes that the archers cannot be targeted from any angle other than from a spot directly between them and exposed to fire from both.

Valiantly dismissing the DM’s at-this-point-not-at-all-subtle hints that a direct approach may not be a good idea and this isn’t the only entrance as the choice of lesser men, the consensus is to press the assault…

Alwin charges through the hail of arrows and tries, unsuccessfully, to smash the doors down. Balkris hears the shouts of more orcs behind the archers shouting instructions to “shoot the fucking bear”. He then pulls off several utterly impossible shots through the arrow slits, from an angle, catching the orcs behind with a hail of thorns.

Thanatos joins the fray, standing in the dead centre of the room engaging the orcs with missile fire. His splint mail protects him admirably and he appears to all intents and purposes to be thoroughly enjoying himself insulting the orcs behind the arrow slits. He also notices there are more than one in each position.

Lamb, stunned to realize he appears to be the least murder hobo member of the group at this point, calls for a retreat, cautioning that a frontal assault on a dwarf built fortress manned by a horde of alerted orcs is folly.

Homte cowers, Veth is collecting heads.

Alwin fails to break down the doors on several attempts, Veth recalls that Homte was entrusted with a knock spell scroll for just such an occasion. Homte protests the knock spell doesn’t have the range to hit the doors from his position, but the party surmises he has sold the scrolls he was given.

The orc archers continue to be surprisingly ineffective, although they force Alwin to draw on his druidic powers to heal himself. Lamb is forced into action by his embarrassment at the useless orc fire and Alwins futile attempts to knock open the doors. He too braves the gauntlet of fire and hammers the door, fully expecting a horde of grinning orcs on the other side.

He succeeds on his first try, proving you should never send druid to do a barbarian’s job.

The doors open to reveal only two orcs that immediately attack Alwin and Lamb, who respond in kind. Homte, seeking to distract attention from any misunderstanding Vis a Vis scrolls, assists with a dashing rapier strike and fade behind a grizzly bear move. Veth piles on the pain with a multiply targeted magic missile barrage, carefully using the spells inherent accuracy to avoid damaging the heads.

The orcs at the door fall and Thanatos skewers his debating partner behind the arrow slit.

The party moved through the double doors to find a smaller room bordered ahead of them by a yawning chasm, blocking their path forward except via a 5ft wide 50 ft long rope bridge. They hear orc voices on the far side, concealed by what they suspect are firing positions.

Veth attempts to illuminate the far side by casting light on an arrow fired over by Thanatos but the orcs, briefly exposed, throw it down the chasm.

The party discuss ways to mitigate the obvious death trap approach of the bridge. Lamb notes that there is no visible way the orcs could access the flanking positions the party has passed and suspects secret doors on the side walls, but is unable to find any.

Veth proves entirely superior to Lamb in this regard now that his beheading frenzy has subsided and locates a door on one side. Thanatos and Balkris begin searching the opposite wall, inspired by the obvious symmetry of the firing points.

Veth manfully upholds his personal code of opening doors leading to alert guard posts. Utterly unexpectedly, against all odds, the exact same things as last time happens and he is stabbed in the face by an orc, already disgruntled by the thorns Balkris previously administered. Fortunately Veth survives this time.

Thorny orc is dispatched by Lamb, again with the assistance of “move-have it-retreat” Homte. Thanatos locates the other door and engages the obligatory orc lurking behind, and is apparently delighted to continue his repartee.

Lamb proceeds towards the firing point on his side and discovers a guard room with a passage leading off. The remaining guard is converted to bounty money, this time with Homte employing his crossbow, having had quite enough melee, thank you very much.

Thanatos cuts his conversation short (boom boom) and discovers there are no further passages leading off from his side.

The party convene in the guard room with the exception of Alwin, guarding the bridge. Homte is appalled to discover absolutely no loot amongst the orc detritus, Thanatos scoops up a serviceable long bow, but is out on his feet. Veth quaffs a healing option distractedly whilst collecting orc heads.

Finding the passage off leads to more firing points but has an odd configuration. Homte, outraged by the orcs parsimony, searches for more secret doors. Fuelled by the power of avarice (rolls of 23 then 24) he finds one.

Alwin, by the bridge, attempts to draw the orcs out with an inspired performance of macho bravado and circus-esque ridicule but they remain in place and disconcertingly confident.

The door leads to a short corridor and second door identical to the first. Homte, now almost overcome with conviction that he has found the secret route to the orcs treasure, is somewhat overzealous in his efforts to check for traps, sadly alerting the orcs on the other side, in what turns out to be in actual fact, their barracks.

The party, squeezed into the narrow passageway in tactical conga line formation, are confronted by the sight of more than half a dozen orcs equipped with two handed axes or swords and shields. Lamb, leading, sees an orog (super orc) amongst them. His frustration at events and, frankly, disappointment at the orcs showing thus far, boils over and he wades in, laughing contentedly to himself as he slaughters a path to glory!

Everyone else, comically hampered by initiative rolls in the exact reverse order they are queued up in, are starting to suspect their (lack of) plan may be flawed. They rise to the challenge admirably, however, and press forward.

Things go well for Lamb initially as he chops down the orcs between him and the orog effortlessly.

Homte darts in and makes hay applying cross bow bolts to faces whilst dodging between legs to stay safely out of reach.

Balkris, next in line, is engaged by three orcs and whilst overcoming one is almost downed by the return torrent of double handed axe blows.

Vesh begins to unleash a spectacular maelstrom of deadly arcane energy on every orc in the room using every ounce of his power in a matter of seconds. Amazingly, this time, he doesn’t blow everyone else up too.

The orcs at the bridge lose some of their cocky mien and Alwin sees them rapidly move off into the complex; surmising his comrades are causing a ruckus elsewhere, he sprints to reinforce them.

Balkris, forced into desperate defence, buys enough time for Thanatos to draw on the last reserves of his grit and determination then simultaneously slay an orc left and right.

Lamb, facing the orog and two orcs, suffers blows that would have slain a lesser mortal, but he stays on his feet thanks to his catlike agility, godly pecs and manly disregard trivialities like axe wounds. Worryingly though, so does the orog, despite plate armour blackened by Veths sorcerous energy and Homtes cross bow bolts sticking out of sensitive bits.

The remaining orcs fall and Homte executes his piece de resistance, skirting around the orog and disengaging to his rear to deliver the coup de grace to his back….

The thieving little bastard misses, cos he should’ve used his fucking rapier instead, but the distraction is enough and the orog dies spitting fury in Homtes face at his inability to reach him.

Grievously depleted the party is chilled to hear the cries of more orcs joined by the bellow of an ogre and the howling of wolves. Quickly deciding a narrow chokepoint might be to their advantage they retreat to the corridor between the rope bridge and secret door to the barracks. Alwin arrives to see Veth being dragged from the fray, screaming with frustration at being forced to leave orc heads unharvested.

As Alwin liberally hands out good berries, the party take stock.

Alwin has no more wildshapes.
Lamb, Balkris and Thanatos are suffering wounds, despite makeshift healing efforts.
Critically, Veth has no more spell slots.

And most disastrously, Homte has no fucking loot whatsoever.

Session #40 / Toxic City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Quite a cramped map for tonights game. Only six tiles, but with four spawn zones. With that many zombies coupled with numerous objectives to nab nearly all the survivors reached the exp limit. Early on I succumbed to uncharacteristic boldness in the Mall, and saw one...

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Session #39 / Toxic City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Session #39 / Toxic City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Double victory. Hurrah!! On the newbie table 2 new players picked up the rules and performed like seasoned veterans. It was close, and we had taken a few bruises on the way, but we escaped down the sewers in the nick of time. With the Pros, Toxic city mall was great...

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Session #5 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Session #5 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

The citadel echoed with the distant sound of panicked goblins. The party carefully made their way back to the entrance door leading to the Kobold’s area, now intent on getting some energy back and achieving a short rest. Being well away from the goblins did not...

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Session #4 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Session #4 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Not all went as planned...for the ref that is, The hunter impaled the form of Duke Darion on his shiny new halberd the enchanted steel pinning him to the wall...& the illusion drops revealing da DA DDAA the body of the fallen knave animated by foul sorcery, a...

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Session #38 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

Session #38 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

The goblin cowered, and pleaded for its life. It was fortunate the party were in a forgiving mood. There was no killing blow. Seeing the possibility it could survive, the pathetic creature tried its luck.  “I will help you” it said. “I guide … take to Leader … to...

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Session #38 / Toxic City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Session #38 / Toxic City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

The party were convinced (bribed with promises of gold & enchanted goodies) to return to the castle to meet the master of Maya's new character (her master looks like a certain Targeryan) He is uncaring as to Darions survival & will treat with the victor of...

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Session #3 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Session #3 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

A glorious victory. A close one, paid for in blood, only some of it our own. We were faced with a quandary early on, to open the door to the mall and let the toxic denizens out even though we weren't ideally equipped to defeat them, or push on elsewhere. We chose the...

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Session #37 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

Session #37 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

A total victory. Lessons were learned from the last attempt. That failure led to a different bunch of survivors having to hole up behind some barricades awaiting rescue. The zombies spawning couldn't have gone more differently, with an abomination turning up early on,...

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Session #2 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Session #2 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

The party successfully bargained with the Kobold Queen and were offered a prize upon return, but only if they were to rescue Calcryx the dragon. The key, could be that prize. The queen gave them leave to rest before their dangerous journey into goblin territory. As...

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Session #35 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

Session #35 / The Elven Crystals – Table 1 – Dragon Warriors

A rope was tied round one of the ruined pillars and disappeared over the edge of the chasm, leaving the group in no doubts as to where the missing adventurers had gone. After a quick assessment, Mac swung himself over the edge using the same rope and climbed down to a...

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Session #1 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Session #1 / The Sunless Citadel – Table 3 – D&D 5e

Have fun storming the castle.....Leaving the unmourned healer's body our intrepid murder hobo's trek on following the physical trail left by Clothilda . Defying death or worse at the hands/claws/teeth/tentacles that awaited in the mists at the bottom of a chasm they...

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Session #35 / Black Plague, Dracula – Table 2 – Zombicide

Session #35 / Black Plague, Dracula – Table 2 – Zombicide

It is Midwinter in the prosperous village of Oakhurst. Always a very tolerant society, outsiders are more than welcome, as long as they don’t get caught halfway out of someone else’s window. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened to Mac, a young tiefling rogue on...

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Sunless Citadel Overview

Sunless Citadel Overview

The goblin cowered, and pleaded for its life. It was fortunate the party were in a forgiving mood. There was no killing blow. Seeing the possibility it could survive, the pathetic creature tried its luck.  “I will help you” it said. “I guide … take to Leader … to...

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Session #34 / City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Session #34 / City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

The citadel echoed with the distant sound of panicked goblins. The party carefully made their way back to the entrance door leading to the Kobold’s area, now intent on getting some energy back and achieving a short rest. Being well away from the goblins did not...

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Session #17 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Session #17 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

SINGS "Don't you know, you never split the party" SO after a LOT of discussion, both in character & out, of the merits of what type of person would be tastiest for their newest friend The new Warlock Lena & the Archer decided to set out back through the forest...

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Session #33 / City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

Session #33 / City Mall – Table 2 – Zombicide

The knave falls...not just morally...The ambush did NOT go quite as planned largely due to the absence of the hunter & the elementalist, the trio that remained DID stop the priest of Rimfax from sacrificing the paralyzed Clothilda but not without cost to...

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Zombicide – Previous Sessions Overview

Zombicide – Previous Sessions Overview

The goblin cowered, and pleaded for its life. It was fortunate the party were in a forgiving mood. There was no killing blow. Seeing the possibility it could survive, the pathetic creature tried its luck.  “I will help you” it said. “I guide … take to Leader … to...

read more
Session #16 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Session #16 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Long ago, a great fortress built by a cult of the dragon Ashardalon sank into the earth in a forgotten cataclysm. Its ruins became known as the Sunless Citadel, and over the centuries numerous creatures made this place their home. Twelve years ago, the druid Belak the...

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Session #15 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Session #15 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

A Bad Case of Harpies At the very door of the hobgoblins lair the party were entangled in summoned roots, nearly drowned in stinkmud & almost out of magic points after the Knaves erstwhile (loyal?) goblins were defeated after a treacherous attack all of which gave...

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Session #14 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Session #14 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Entry 5. 12th day of Tarsakh, 1492 DR. The vanguard of the party cautiously edge into the antechamber, Balkris in the lead and drawn to the statues like a moth to a flame. As they advance the sound of hammering on metal can be heard echoing down the stair way on the...

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Previous Sessions Overview

Previous Sessions Overview

A Bad Case of Harpies At the very door of the hobgoblins lair the party were entangled in summoned roots, nearly drowned in stinkmud & almost out of magic points after the Knaves erstwhile (loyal?) goblins were defeated after a treacherous attack all of which gave...

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Session #13 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

Session #13 / Forges of Fury – Table 4 – D&D 5e

08/05/19 So, the assassin somehow infiltrated the ranks of the party. They just couldn’t suck an accusations on him, and he had already fenced the stolen party funds by investing in local real estate. As it happens his skills may come in handy as they now try to save...

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Previous Sessions Overview

Previous Sessions Overview

The Company retreats back to the foetid guard room and discusses their options; push on, despite the unknown number of orcs still at large; rest in place, or retreat and find the source of the smoke or another unguarded entrance. Lamb, bored of conversation, returns...

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